It has been a long time since I write something here. I still write. Here and there. Scribble on my note book. One or two sentence. A few words of breaking. A few words to keep going. Writing is still my favorite part. Still a way for me to express myself. It's just that, I feel like I keep losing myself now and then for no reason. I have no idea what happen in my deep thought. I don't want to go there anyway. It's scary, dark and full of fear.
Nothing much happen in my life. There's no spark. It's plain and dull, make me have nothing to look forward to everyday. It's a cycle of waking up, going to class, handing works, go to bed and start it all over again. It's boring. In term of colour, it's in grey. Like an old film with no colours with bad story plot. The thought of I have to do something is the only things that make me wake up and not sleeping till the next day. Sure, I laugh with my friends but I'm seeking of something that make my adrenaline go rush. Something that make me not be able to sleep due to excitement. Something that make me smile wide just by the thought of it. Something. Anything. But, I guess, there's nothing like that for me in this world. I don't know. It's getting hard to keep going sometimes. Seeing everyone achieve something in their life while you still wondering what to do in the future. Still in question what you will become. Yes, of course, get a degree and find a job. But then what? What should I do in between that goals? What?
I really have no idea.
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